9 Classic 'Far Side' Comics About Cats Being the Worst

Meow

Gary Larson loves cows. If you’re a reader of his comic strip The Far Side, it's clear that Larson adores the big, bovine creatures, as he often portrays them as adorable, if somewhat simple-minded heroes of his drawings. Even when they’re not good — like the strip where they’re plotting to eat a farmer — they’re portrayed in such a way that we want them to eat the farmer.

Cats, however, can never be heroes.

In contrast to the generally flattering light cows are portrayed in, Larson’s cats are always either villains or victims. They are the unruly, selfish pets of mankind, the ruthless enemies of dogs and rodents, or they're about to get a comeuppance that Larson appears to think they deserve. Perhaps, as a cat lover, I’m reading too much into this, but I’ve assembled these nine cartoons — one for each life of a cat — to present my case.

Larson would never portray cows like this.

9 What cats hear

This comic strip, which juxtaposes the things we say to cats versus what they hear, depicts a cat that is completely indifferent to its owner’s demands. As a guy who has had more than one expensive couch destroyed by a bored cat sharpening its claws, I can agree that the idea that cats are defiant and sometimes indifferent isn’t entirely off-base, but that's usually just in comparison to dogs, who are very different creatures. If you measure any cat by dog standards, they’re probably going to fail.

8 Bad cat

This comic portrays a cat who has killed and eaten a bird after using dynamite to blow apart its bird cage. Again, the cat is the unruly troublemaker in this one, much to the shock of its owner. Despite committing such a crime, there it rests on the couch completely unbothered.

7 Another cat, also bad

Just take a look at the mangled condition of these cat owners, and you’ll have some idea of how Larson views cats. Clearly the cat has mercilessly attacked his owners and is about to do the same to their visitor.

6 Another level of bad

The humans, dog, bird, and fish all react in horror to the sight of headlights, because they know they're in danger from a cat that can apparently drive a car. In this comic, a cat isn’t just some unruly pet, they’re like a Stephen King monster.

5 Poor pup

In yet another comic strip where cats are able to drive, a quartet of gangster cats speeds away from a crime scene where they’ve just riddled a doghouse with bullets. Once again, cats are the evil ones in this little story.

4 A vending machine for cats

Larson clearly sees cats as not just the bane of existence for dogs and their owners, but for mice as well, as can be seen in this comic where a bunch of poor mice stuck in a gumball machine await their deaths at the hands of a cat.

3 Poor kitty

Sometimes, instead of portraying cats as villains who have the upper hand over dogs, Larson portrayed them as the victims of dogs. But even then, Larson seems to put his sympathies with the dogs, not the cats, as though they deserve whatever horrible fate is about to befall them. Like this comic, which shows a clever dog in a human mask who has tricked someone into retrieving a cat from a tree.

2 Poor defenseless kitty

In this comic strip, an owner is taking his cat home after having it declawed (which is horribly inhumane). The dog is excited to welcome back the now defenseless cat, yet the dog is the cute one in the comic while the cat has his back to us and we’re meant to imagine his expression. While the victim here is the cat, it still seems pro-dog thanks to how cute and funny the dog is here and how little we see of the cat.

1 Nothing to interpret here

Oh, come on!